


Literal Drake

by Birdlad (Argothia)



Series: Family Time [10]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Animal Transformation, Gen, Magical Shenanigans, dragon - Freeform, mythical animal transformation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-26
Updated: 2019-03-26
Packaged: 2019-12-18 02:41:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18240740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Argothia/pseuds/Birdlad
Summary: “Great, magic with a sense of humor. God help us all.”





	Literal Drake

**Author's Note:**

> It's been too long since I posted something DC related and I was starting to get antsy, so here's this drabble I wrote like a year and a half ago and just now edited and polished up. Enjoy.

The Batcave is usually pretty damn quiet unless there’s a major emergency so Jason’s rather put off when he arrives to raised voices and more than a few yelps of surprise. Also fire. He’s partway up the stairs from the parking landing when he has to hit the dirt to avoid having his head burnt off. Can’t imagine that that’d be a pleasant way to go out a second time.

When he finally gets up the steps he’s confronted by a sight that’s equal parts horrifying and hilarious. There’s a dragon sitting up on it’s haunches in the middle of the computers and equipment, and it’s sneezing. Jets of fire shooting across the room every time it does. Dick is looking absolutely frantic and helpless, while Damian sits on the desk just out of the range of the fire looking very nonchalant all things considered. “What the fuck?”

Dick glances over at him. “Don’t just stand there! Help!”

“How the hell am I supposed to--” Jason ducks again as another blast of flame flies over his head. Seriously this is ridiculous. This doesn’t look like it’s getting any better and with Dick apparently useless, Jason does the only thing he can think of, he grabs the nearest fire extinguisher – there’s always a few in the cave, never can be too careful and all that – and sprays the dragon’s snout. 

Look at that. Crisis averted. The day is saved thanks to Jason Todd yet again but will he get any credit for it?

“Jason!”

Of course not.

“What?” Jason says as he sets the extinguisher down. “I helped, I don’t see the problem.”

Dick of course sees the problem. He always sees problems. Especially when it comes to Jason, but that’s a sore spot for another time. “You could have hurt him! There’s no way of knowing what putting out his fire like that would do!”

The dragon, wiping the foam off its snout, rolls its eyes and all of the sudden, Jason knows why Dick’s freaking out. He kinda wants to laugh, but also-- “A dragon? Fucking seriously?”

As the dragon gives Jason a look that banishes any doubt that it’s the replacement under all those black and red scales, Dick sighs, like Jason’s making everything more difficult. Then he just leans against a counter, apparently resigned, and says, “Be nice, Jay. Tim’s had a rough day.”

“He’s had--” Jason groans and honestly, yeah, he should have expected this kind of shit from somebody with the last name ‘Drake’ and a penchant for pissing off magical entities. Still he thinks he can be forgiven for losing some tact in the surprise of walking into the cave to find a goddamn, ten foot long dragon sneezing fire across the room, thanks. “Just… just tell me what happened.”

Dick looks at Tim and Tim just huffs as he wipes away the last of the foam. Shrugging Dick turns back to Jason. “Tim had a run in with something magical and now he’s a dragon for some reason we’re not sure of.”

“The pun would be my guess,” Jason supplies, which gets him a low growl from Tim and a look of confusion from Dick. Grinning, Jason tilts his head towards Tim, “I mean it wouldn’t be too much of a stretch to think that something magical would know our real names so…”

It takes a moment for Dick to get it, but the realization is met with a bark of rueful laughter. “Great, magic with a sense of humor. God help us all.”

“So, what sort of magic thing was it?” Jason asks as he walks closer to Tim.

Looking more than a little miffed, Dick responds, “We don’t know, because Tim was Tim and decided not to let anybody else in on the whole ‘going after a magical entity be back for dinner hopefully not as a dragon’ adventure.”

Wow, shade thrown at somebody who isn’t Jason? Somebody needs to be marking this date. Jason decides not to acknowledge that, not worth the inevitable complaining and instead focuses on another interesting fact. “So… I take it Replacement can’t talk in this form, huh?”

Before Dick can respond to that, Damian, who’s been curiously absent from the conversation up until now, finally deigns to speak up. “Indeed. It has been a welcome reprieve from his usual, useless prattle. Almost worth putting up with his ineptitude with the fire breath.”

Tim’s head whips around and embers begin mixing with the smoke rising from his nostrils again. Not good. Jason reaches out quick and grabs Tim’s jaws holding them closed as best he can, while scolding, “Hey! Whoa, yeah, none of that shit. Pretty sure literally roasting the preteen is only hilarious in theory. Cool it, baby bird.”

Despite narrowing his eyes a bit and snorting a few small flames from his nose, Tim doesn’t fight Jason’s grip, possibly conceding the point. Slowly, Jason lets go and though Tim does curl his lip at Damian, showing off an impressive row of teeth, he doesn’t actually blast the brat so Jason counts it as a win.

Damian snarls right back at Tim like he thinks his display has anywhere near the same impact and that’s just adorable. Well, it would be, if he weren’t goading an actual dragon directly after Jason just prevented him from getting crispy-fried. Some gratitude. “Pathetic as usual, Drake. Even in a form where you have all the power you defer to Todd of all people! Shamef--”

“Enough!” Dick orders, all commanding and Batman-y, as Tim starts to growl again. “Both of you.”

Immediately, Tim and Damian turn so they aren't facing each other, still stubbornly refusing to look even a little apologetic after being reprimanded. And here Jason thought he was the petty one. Learning new shit all over the place today. “So, what’s the plan for getting Timbit back to his normal, less fiery self?”

Dick shrugs. “Bruce went to check in with our local magic users to see if any of them can figure it out. Until he gets back our orders are to sit tight and make sure Tim doesn’t start… hoarding things or something.”

“I see…” Jason grins at Tim, getting a wary glare in response. “What’d ya say, Replacement? You feel like you’re going to start hoarding coffee?”

Tim lets out a loud groan and covers his face with his talons.

“Or maybe Sherlock Holmes novels?… No wait! I know! Workloads! We’ll turn our backs for five seconds and you’ll be lounging on top of a mound of case files you stole from the rest of us, won’t ya?”

Dick smiles a little. “I’m honestly shocked he hasn’t already tried to break out and abduct a princess.”

“That’s because all the princesses we know could kick his ass, dragon form or no dragon form.” Jason sits down next to Tim on the floor and slings an arm over the scaled shoulders. “Betcha Super-Teen would let you kidnap him if we asked though, so, ya know, back up plan.”

Abruptly Tim lifts his head and turns so his snout is only inches from Jason’s face.

“Wha--?”

Before Jason can finish his question, Tim opens his jaws and exhales. There’s no flames but Jason gets a face-full of something just as bad. Warm, humid breath that smells distinctly of sulfur and charcoal.

Quickly Jason rolls away from the smell, hacking and coughing… maybe laughing just a little. “Fucking hell, baby bird! Ugh, just torch me next time, it’d be more humane. Damn, brush you’re teeth or something!”

Tim of course just looks smug. Because he’s a little shit.

Jason’s never been more proud.


End file.
